Have you ever let yourself cry, I mean really? Like one of those, self-indulgent cries? Those, you know what I mean, those “prideful” cries. Those new-age-y-, woo-woo, #firstlooklushie-luxury-bath-bombs-types, of showers... The one showers where you know, that you? You f**king deserved, ….Nah, You, fuck-king deserve…, this type of, fucking, *inhale, exhale, inhale-woooooooo, exhale-waaaaaaayyy- shower…
Y’all deserve(d) it so much,
-that you said ‘fucking',’ 3-times-trice!
Because when I say- I cried,
I cried like the world is watching,
like cried like I didn’t have anxiety.
For those of y’all who have had this type of cry- Wow- I envy you. Retrospectively, y’all did tell me that y’all were taking spiritual baths, but y’all never told me that, all I ever needed was soap. For my people who have neither had those types of showers, or my Pre-Lilith-Researchers- I am referring to a “stand up with you and your body, and absolute let it out (I haven’t cried like that since I listened to Evanescence, bruh-)
(Y’all!). Let, me, tell, you, (the commas are claps in-between the words. I’m Black so I can point out the AAVE in my grammar; I said what I said, *cricket with that smug ass smirk*).
For the people who haven’t quite experienced a cry like that, I empathize with you (y’all are very-valid-and-affirmed, cough-even before you release your inner Lilith-cough). Because I too, was there (I am playing this tone in the key of Barack Obama’s voice of “relatability; tee hee). I spent a lot of my time locking up my emotions, and refusing, to radically talk, to myself, about me... I hope y’all - (stop, read that again, say it out loud to yourself, say it with the pauses where the punctuations are supposed to be) resonate with that invitation (my bet is the Gemini placements already knew to talk to themselves out loud, if they wanted to understand my coded messages). I am talking about the type of cry where you let yourself, see yourself, cry- the type of cry, that you rarely allow yourself, a cry like that… Not even in the privacy of your own shower/home. I wonder if the 4th house can teach us how to indulge in self-care, because aren’t our bodies a type of home? Hmm, something to ponder.
I hope y’all are ready to take a shower, cause it’s time to read about Lilith through the signs:
Whew, y’all are so funny. Y’all are the types of people that run from your problems so quickly, the types that reeeeeeaaaaaalllllllllllyyyyyyyy think, that they, ain’t, showing, their, whole, ass,! Some of y’all are lucky, and get away wih it, *shaking my head*. Lilith in fire sign people are the types of people who will talk your ear off about their “twin-flames/love interest who keeps running away and/or keeps ghosting them” type of problems. Y’all thought that because you moved through life so quickly, so ready to grow up, so scared to ask for help, so scared to be caught, so scared to not have it together, cause y’all ignore the “i-wanna-think-about-it” type of problems. If you got Lilith in a fire placement, you have learn that, in order to heal you must stop running. When you see/hear/feel/accept/know that running from your problems isn’t going to make them go away, that’s when you will independently make the decision to heal yourself.
Take a shower, buy a bath bomb, yes you deserve the fucking-bath-bomb. Go home, fucking stop moving, you’re taking care of yourself! Y’all swear feelings aren’t even that serious, some of y’all say that all the time. So if feelings aren’t “that serious,” it won’t destroy you to admit when you are hurting. Please let yourself be sad, please let yourself be vulnerable, please let yourself be weak, because that’s when you can be intimate with your Lilith sign. Some of y’all may need the medicinal assistance of THC (I’m 1/2 of a really funny stoner podcast named Astrology Sucks, check it out), some of y’all might find that CBD does the trick (if you use my promo-code BLACKWOMENCRY at Earth Medicide, you’ll get 20% off their CBD products, and they were literally formulated by an MD).
When y’all stop running and un-constructively hold space for yourself to re-introduce yourself to yourself. Let yourself fall apart, let yourselves realize that your body hurts, let yourself understand why your body hurts (sometimes it’s suppressed stress y’all). It’s time to make time to take a vacation at home, unpack, and put what comes out where it needs to go. What objects are you holding onto that you don’t even wear? Some of y’all really don’t acknowledge that maybe retail therapy/window-shopping is a form of escapism/running away as well. it’s time to give yourself permission to cry, to be intimate with yourself. Damn, look at y’all, glowing (Get it? Fire, glow?).
DEEP, SIGH! The hardest thing about unpacking y’all is that some of y’all are so eager to unpack that you think a trauma-bond with another person is intimacy, some of y’all won’t even give yourself permission for self-care, and the other chunk of y’all have a healthy relationship with yourself (#selfcare #nurture #tendingtomyinnerchild). I think a lot of people with Water Lilith may not realize that they can’t pour from an empty cup, and maybe that taking care of others is just an excuse to not take care of themselves. Yes, I can affirm and validate your feelings are as real, because feelings DO reflect how you are perceiving reality- but I can also perceive that sometimes y’all would rather drown yourself in emotion, as opposed to swimming to the drain, empty the ocean that you’ve been trying to hold in your body, and dry the fuck off. Up to like, 60% of your body is made up of water, or something like that. I’m pretty sure there’s a scientific study that you can google to verify that; whatever you need to intellectualize the spiritual-woo-woo-faith-shit that I’m saying. But y’all water signs thrive when you let yourselves dry off.
Cancer is the crab, crabs get out of the water sometimes. Scorpio is the scorpion, and while scorpions can survive without water, they still must drink it. Pisces is the fish, so they just have to accept there’s no escaping from the water. Pisces is trapped in the water with no breaks, so it can feel like your own little world. That’s why Scorpio must learn how to affirm that they need to let other people swim with them, that they both deserve to have friends who improve for them, and that they have friends who won’t pollute their waters. Water sign Lilith, commit to a self-care routine. Without excuses, buy that bath bomb, for yourself! Cook that whole damn meal, no excuses, you deserve to be lazy and just eat leftovers. Y’all have to start expecting that you will nurture yourself, that you will give yourself permission to spoil yourself, and that you will be kind to yourself. This is about you, stop worrying about every-body-else. When y’all learn to let yourself, see yourself, then you can begin to feel when your cup is empty or overwhelmed.
Y’all, ain’t nothing wrong with acknowledging that we smoke weed to either avoid/escape or face/minimize our “big” problems. I’m not going to pretend as if I know you, I don’t, I have no freaking idea who the fuck you are (unless I actually do, to which I say, HAY FRAN!). However, on a real personal level, Earth sign energy is some of the most child-like energy. When I say child-like, I mean that y’all are just as excited as fire signs, just as whimsical as water signs, and just as curious as air signs. Even though y’all are sometimes perceived as “boring” because you keep pieces of yourself, from yourself (and others as well). What I know about you is that y’all are mad self-reflective. When y’all give yourself permission to hang out with your inner child, that’s when I think self-care and intimacy occur. Earth sign energy reminds me of the child who had to grow up really fast, that child never got to live in Neverland, maybe they didn’t even get to enjoy Disneyland. That child would pretend to not be intrigued by dressing up, dreaming big, or speaking out loud what they felt they needed (they told themselves to chill on the emotions/feelings/sensitive/cry-baby-stuff).
I love you Earth signs, y’all are so freaking cute. Taurus is the affectionate energy, they love to cuddle and feel “soft.” Capricorn is the imaginative energy, they’re very thoughtful and like to make space for everyone in the dream world that they’ve created. Virgo is the considerate child, they are so thoughtful and want to make sure that everyone is prepared for the opportunities that they deserve. Hold space for yourself Earth Lilith, and acknowledge that all you are able to do is build a home that’s big enough for you. Create no rooms that hold space for “what-do/will-they-think-of-me?” That has no space in your self-care castle, your personal and productive Neverland. Build no walls that hold you back from saying what you need others. You deserve for people to work to understand you, how else will they begin to deserve you (please communicate this with yourself). Your loved ones, love you, so they’ll hold space if you need it. Earth signs, scale no room that is without enough space for a chair, or a bed, or a friend, who the whole fucking support system (you deserve a whole fucking support system). I love you, and it’s time to give yourself permission to let your inner child, be a child.
Last but not least, my air sign folks. Truthfully, it’s hard for me to understand you, air energy lives in the houses of my birth chart that I don’t frequently visit (4th/8th/12th). So in a way, I have to be intimate with y’all when I write this. I have to take a shot in the dark, cut through the wind, take a chance, and perform a huge leap of faith. Which, I wish I saw more of y’all do. So many of my air sign friends are looking to be heard, to be validated, to find someone who will be their-right-hand, someone they can talk to. I hear y’all, I really do. But have y’all ever tried talking to yourself? I’m not being condescending, I’m for real. Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and let yourself be silly? Air energy can get very existential, so much so that I wonder how many of y’all let yourself experience the Mad-Hatter-Un-Birthday that’s taking place in your mind. Geminis are like knights, they seek to cut through the bullshit! They are willing to sit down and have the conversation, no matter how long or how difficult they are. Libras are like the royals, they work their hardest to be fair and accommodating for the people who visit in their kingdom. Aquarius is the enchanted forest, they live just outside the palace. They’ve made a home out of the place people create rumors about but are too scared to visit.
Air Lilith folks, it’s ok to live in your own little world, and there’s nothing wrong with realizing that you’re the only person who occupies it. This means you’re allowed to hear your kingdom out, what is your royal decree? It’s through holding space to talk to yourself, regardless of how silly it feels, that helps you care for yourself. Seek knowledge and crave curiosity, but don’t use it as an excuse to deflect your own conclusions. Be confident, you’re a wise royal. Y’all practice self-care when y’all willingly, consensually, and knowingly give yourself permission to be confident in your conclusion. You looked long and hard for the answers, and once you affirm that answers aren’t inherently “wrong/bad” or “right/good,” when you accept that answers are just answers, then you grant yourself permission to give yourself a conclusion. Hold space to validate yourself, and know that there’s no risk that you’re wrong or bad in your thinking/feeling (unless your thoughts are harmful to you or others, in which case I challenge you to unpack that). While we should always strive for answers, some books are buried and bridges burned, radical acceptance helps us heal from that.
Please leave a comment, and let me know what you think. Because I love Lilith, her story is about someone who decided to leave a toxic relationship and create her own reality. She endured loss, trauma, pain, fear, and betrayal. Themes that we all have to choose to unpack, and not run away from, and to not intellectualize or distance ourselves from, and to prioritize confrontation with in order to heal. Not everyone is ready to unpack, nor may I be the person, or this the article to unpack with. I ask that you take what resonates, learn from it, and leave what doesn’t. I hope that I was of service to y’all, nothing but love.